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THATS NOT MY NAME, THATS NOT

SUEEE

SITI SUHAIRA
turning 16(0506), extrovert, not yet legal and currently sitting for o levels

MA BABIES

SWEET SUGARY CANDY

WHY THEM
cause they're the best, of course

where else can you find people like them
you'll like these nice wizards and witches
macam itik, pulang petang
my baby (bipolar disorder = cannot reproduce)
meet my half-sister, elyna baby hahahha

Monday, March 29, 7:34 PM

what do they say? they say im stupid, they say im gullible, they say im too nice. they say youre insignificant, they say youre childish, they say you dont exist, they say i should leave you. thats what they say.

what do i say? i say youre different, i say youre nice, i say youre funny, i say youre always there for me, i say everyone makes mistakes, i say you'll change, i say youre not how they think you are. thats what i say. wrong.

what are second chances for? second chances are for people who deserves them. second chances are for people who can prove that they are worth the time and effort. thats what second chances are for.

i thought you deserved a second chance. where did i go wrong? nothing has changed. everything is exactly how it was before. no secrets, no secrets, no secrets. wrong. more secrets, more secrets, more secrets. 1 month down, 3 more to go. i keep thinking tomorrow's gonna be the day you'll prove to everyone that youre a man. wrong. i'll keep dreaming.

im aware. im not the prettiest or the nicest or the funniest, but i know i deserve better. at least better than this.

everyone have their own opinions on how relationships should or should not be. they derive their own conclusions from personal experience, be it good or bad. im starting to think mine is unreliable. their points seem to filter right through me, now that im here, in this situation. i just need to be firm. right, firm. remember what they say sue, you have nothing to lose. there might be someone better coming down right by the corner, better than he ever will be.

sigh. lets just hope theyre right.

Friday, March 26, 12:36 AM

mifdhal really made my day.

Mifdhal says:

hahaha! kau imagine, nenek aku tanye, "nk gorengkan keropok??" abeh aku ckp uh, "boleh uh"

abeh bile tengah gorengkan, die ckp kat aku "kau ni dhal, aku ni lapar, abeh kau suruh aku gorengkan keropok!" hahahaha! die yg offer siol! abeh aku pulak kene!

Mifdhal says:

abeh abeh, one time, die tanye "nk gorengkan hashbrown tk?" abeh aku ckp "tknk uh" abeh die marah aku "kau ni! makan memilih sangat la! makan aje la ape yg ade!" kau tengok!? mcm mane nk handle!?

SO FUNNYYYYYYYY AHAHHAHAHA!!! LOL LMAO ROFL!

Wednesday, March 24, 3:33 PM

"dont be digusted because im greedy" - tiger from animalia

ive been watching alot of the little mermaid: ariel's beginning(i recorded it). so the other day, my mom questioned me in frustration and i told her ariel inspire me to run away from home when i dont get what i want n_n

anyway, i dont get it. they say practice makes perfect, but ive been practicing and practicing and practicing and practing and it never pays off. everytime i try to scare people, i scare myself. why, even a joke gets me everytime.

mak: ira, karipap ni bawa naik. kalau abangabang nak makan, kate tak boleh tau eh.

me: abe kalau nenek keropok mintak kite? n_n

yes, i scared myself and had to stone at one corner with my back hard against the elevator cause i didnt want to make sudden movements that might scare myself(you know, the stupid reflections and stuff). and that was what?!?!?! 10am?

so anyway, i got cut by mr. razorblade again. this time, on my thumb. i plastered it and after i cooked, eat, washed plates, my thumb smelled like campbell's soup. hahahah!! amazing right? nobody else wanted to smell my thumb so before saiful could do anything, i held my thumb under his nose and he was really really really taken aback. im not sure if it was because of the smell hahahehehuhuhoho n_n

yeaaaaah, man! okay i think i wanna bathe now

xoxo

Sunday, March 21, 10:42 PM

im lazy im tired im smelly im fed up im cranky im pissed.

ive been helping my aunt move out her things to her new home. we made about 5 trips in total and i only got to take the lorry once. safdgdddkslkefnakwebrsdnkewfahow disappointing?!?!?! anyway, my black pepper spaghetti is almost done and i am sooo gonna eat it right now. then after i'll bathe.

, 8:36 PM

http://un-beautiful.tumblr.com

if thats the case, i bet ive been appearing in your dreams often. so, why am i not surprised, you rarely appear in mine?

Saturday, March 20, 5:48 PM

me: *stood up

advertisement: wow wow, stay on your couch. jonas will be right back

me: oh okay *sits back down

yeayyy! later, in the evening, im going to a wedding ceremony n_n what does this mean? i get to wear baju kurung yeaaaaayyyy! lemme see, when was the last time i wore a baju kurung? hm.. it was during.. um.. no, i dont know. i forgot. it just shows how freaking long ago that was.

wanna know a secret? a biggggg secret! wira's playing digimon battle obt!!! :O shhhhhh

mak and i just realised we missed our once a week lesson at the mosque. we totally spaced out.. oh oh oh!!! i just remembered. last week, i learnt an important tip to look good in tudung -_- you have to bun your hair really really really high. but, in case youre dumb, i'll warn you.. not to make it too high up like ninjas. im not sure how it makes you look better, but yeah, it does. hm, i sound like a tudung expert freak.

anyway, im really happy the blue sky is back. theyre so pretty. pretty pretty sky ♥

, 3:45 AM

when you got me, you do n-o-t-h-i-n-g.

great! great n_n

Friday, March 19, 12:49 AM

Ahmad Izzat "Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit."

the best ive seen so far (Y)

Thursday, March 18, 12:13 AM

when will we ever meet?!?!?!?!?!

Tuesday, March 16, 8:53 PM

taufiq, khairul anwar, hafiz, aizat, mud, haziq, eunos (Y)

taufiq told me his 'mataer' rabak, macam witch ahahahahahhaha

Monday, March 15, 4:11 AM

i was looking through my really old blog, suhairaaa.bs and i found this

me: *shows my book* mak, cool eh ni?

mak: i dont know, i feel cool thanks to the weather(making a joke)

me: ha ha ha ha ha you so funny, since when siaaa

its 6.43am and i have the urge to blog. why? cause i just got into the i-miss-alot-of-awesome-people-and-i-need-to-express-myself-but-its-too-early-in-the-morning-and-nobody-would-fucking-want-to-entertain-me zone ):

mak: please please please please please dont try to be funny. i said please ^_^ i mean, i enjoy giving you the laugh(with a huge hint of sarcasm), i really do, i swear, but it breaks my heart all at the same time. hahahhaa. i hope this wont change our mother daughter relationship cause i really need you to cook for me and love me and bite me when youre so paiseh and hold my hands when we're jay-walking. i really love alot and it really scares me when we fight )': its not like we're fighting now, but im jussst saying.

bapak: bapak, please dont be sick anymore. you used to be so strong. it scares me when you get really sick. i dont really show it, but i love you alot.

ryan: my favourite asshole ever!!! im really sorry i have moodswings 24/7 365 days(i heard the earthquake shortened the number of days on earth.. oh well). you know i love you, you know i care, shout whenever and i'll be there -.-'' stop making me jealous lei baby stupidcatdogpigsnailslugrabbitturtlehorseunicornantbuffaloplatypus. you make me wanna break your nose tear your ears off pluck all your teeth cut your tongue break your fingers pull out all your nails you cut into your flesh and kick you there when you do. if you dont want, then stop making me jealous you freakazoid. i love you

syqs: hello gegerl, you have got to stop thinking im always mad at you!!! and seriously, wheres your bed?! and the wooden chairs?! where?! i need them so bad, even when i dont have anything to worry or cry about. i just need to sleep at your place. for a few hours ): i love you.

nisa: that reminds me, ive never been to your place!!! i havent receive my enrolment package i havent decide which laptop to buy i havent top up my ezlink card i havent buy shoe i havent buy bag i havent buy baju and you still havent taken a proper picture of me!!! yes thats right, you have so many things to worry about me. have fun eh. hehe

hafiz: buddy, you shouldnt have joined MI!!! youre so busy even before poly starts ): now whos gonna be my kitty? speaking of kitty right fiz.. the other day, i go kedai runcit. but before i went in, i saw this really poor black cat. fur dia kotor tau, so i assumed dia tak cukup makan -_- when i got out of the shop with cat food, the kitty disappeared. so now, i have a tin of cat food in my balcony cabinet. cool eh. i know youre gonna say "merepek sia kau" but think about it.. i can rescue a pregnant kitty anytime. why? cause i have cat food in my house! the feeling is awesome.

keling/ezzaty: where are you guys?!?! i miss you guys alot lei! theres still nobody who wants to do the chop chilli chop chilli chop move with me ): i miss laughing with you two, spinning around the entrance during closing time, going for more than 30mins toilet break, go shopping, taking pictures and the 1) keling get studs? stubs? wtv 2) i write down the date 3) zaty chop i rindu you two )))))))))))))))))))))':

akel: dude, 1) you really need to start learning how to roll your eyes. pronto. you look like a fool. 2) please dont do the lips-got-stucked-between-doors and say 'please open the door' action.

nana: all i can say is i miss you. too much *hugs

Saturday, March 13, 8:05 PM

today was d-e-a-d. okay maybe not that dead, but still, dead.

while i was sitting in the car listening to songs blasting, i secretly wondered if i love wira. i dont intend to find out how and why he came across my mind but i realised that although wira once threw a stool at me/kick and punch when we fight/call me minah/said "thankyou bitch" after i helped him, i still love him.

there was this one time, i shan't mention when.. k maybe i shall. it was during malaydance in primary school hehehahahuhuhoho(yes, wira and his friends were forced to join. i was happy cause 5-nal-li there were guys). wira got scolded by our instructor for over reacting and i felt like hitting her in the face cause she raised her voice at him. but i kept quiet cause last time i very shy shy mah hehe but dont forget saiful! i love him too! i dont recall being mad at someone cause they did something to saiful. hm..

im desperate. i really need to go to syqs house and sleep on her bed/sofa. its the only way i can chase away all these crazy thoughts. i need your house syqsss! gimme gimme gimmmmeeeee!

Thursday, March 11, 8:31 PM

i dont take in lies and empty promises anymore

)':

, 12:39 PM

i didnt have any blues on monday cause i spent my day with nisa and we ate seoul garden! get it?!?! blues on monday=monday blues! hahahahahahahha!! no?!?! tsk fine ): but i had to depend on myself for my picture cause nisa has the shaky hands syndrome. nyahahahha

the shaky-hands gurlsxzxcszxczx

taken my shaky-hands gurlsxczzsxzxczsc

(i actually went to take alot of things to put in the soup before taking a picture hehe)

depending on myself

my hand like got muscle righttttt hehe

then yesterday, finally went out with my busy little syqs. we went to marina sq to catch alice in wonderland 3D. so magical lah the movie. alice very pretty. me and syqs went to 2 macdonalds. hehe. eat ice cream sedaaaap. i miss syqs alot. shes a very silly girl cause she thought i was angry at her. why would i be mad at herrrrrr.

me: *snap a picture of myself* eh cantik seh!

syqs: maneee?!

me: ni (picture below)

Wednesday, March 10, 11:54 AM

ive run out of intelligent passwords for my facebook and msn account. no, im not proud that my brain has only little capacity for long vulgarities

Monday, March 8, 12:25 PM

this morning started well. i couldnt recall anything about any dream(scientists say we may think we did not dream, but we did. we just forgot). one things for sure. my theory(unhealthy diet=nightmares) is proven.

anyway, i was psyched to finally know someone from the same course. he told me dae results were out but wasnt so sure, so he told me to check the website. then then then, hehehehe, as soon as i opened rp's website, a new email from rp popped up. it was likeeeeeeee.. magic sia! i opened and and and and and and the appeal was successful! i got into integrated events! yessahhhhhh! see you there denard kuok!^^

so while i was calling my mom to relate to her the unbelievably good news, i bit my lips really hard and it bled. i mean really. alot. seriously. cause yesterday i peeled the dry skin off -_-

but im too happy to even care. rp, here i come^^

Sunday, March 7, 6:44 PM

come on, ask me. why is it that i, siti suhaira suhaimi, am feeling shitty? first reason, its b e e e e e cause today is sunday and i feel e-x-t-r-a shitty on sundays. another reason; i came to realise that i is not talented. what do people like me do? i meaaaaaan, there must be something, right. right?! ): oh god, please, let me be sane for once in my life and let me find the talent within me. i wont argue if you wanna give me twice or thrice but at least once.

ive been having really disturbing dreams lately. easy said, nightmares. its driving me to my grave, really. i dont know how to define the feeling, but id be in tears before i could relate it to anything. maybe this is the result of an unhealthy diet. tak boleh resisttt! mcspicy, spaghetti, baked rice, lasagne. sedaaaap. hm, but considering i ate alot of cabbage and 2 servings of fruits today, i should(without a doubt), be having a normal dream tonight. that is, if my theory about my unhealthy diet=nightmares is true.

anyway anyway anyway. i received another letter from ngee ann regarding the purchase of laptops, today. uhuuu~ wira got a little bit frustrated because a nurse(like him and me *sad face*) shouldnt need one. ahhh, hes just jealous. hahahaha. but please please please, give me republic poly. i dont care if people tell me republic is still new and their system is no good. just give me republic.

i just needed to kill time.

xoxo

Saturday, March 6, 1:03 PM

fat'hil suggested i make a video of myself singing fireflies and dance around like one. we both agree that the song is not irritating. i should probably make one, just for myself. should be entertaining, but if the video leaks, it would be embarassing as hell.

congratulations to jurongville secondary's b division soccer boys who became the champion.

Thursday, March 4, 7:47 PM

mak: shes fire burning, fire burning on the rainbow. that little shawty's fire burning on the rainbow
me: mak, asal rainbow? kan dancefloor!
mak: oh, tak lah.. mak cume nak kasih rhyming

me: *hit my mom's file while spinning on the chair
mak: excuse me, cant you see im working here? *rolls eyes
me: im sorry.. theres no steering wheel on this chair he he he

Wednesday, March 3, 5:11 PM

its been long since i last updated my private blog. sigh, whats new in the zoo. my eyes dried up. my heart torn. piles of clothes unfold. hair unkempt. nails not clipped. panty and bra not changed(nooo, just kidding). privates not washed(again, nooo, just kidding). nose undigged. shit not shitted.

most importantly, secrets not told. its all up to me to connect the missing pieces and go figure.

my mom and i have started a pack. after every meal outside, we've decided to work together, hand in hand and inform the other if we have anything stuck to our teeths or bawak bekal or bla bla bla. reason being; the other day, we had kfc and my mom had this hugeeeeeeee crisp of the chicken skin on her left cheek. you guys might think im exaggerating but im not! swear! it was really really really sickly huge. like the size of an adult mole that has hair growing from it.

anyway, this teamwork thing has proven itself useful because the other day, my mom and i were eating seaweeds and yeah... allllllll over our front teeth. uuum, sedap!

saiful's going to bedok jetty to do some fishing with his friends. i wish i could follow him. i really need to get away from all this technology. its driving me crazy.

Monday, March 1, 4:16 PM

ai keh not sim tu shayk dat drim of mai main

scat